To Speak or NOT to Speak?! That is the Question

........

2007-07-18T19:35:00.000+03:00

I don't like being superstitious in life ..and I don't believe in signs (maybe sometimes) ...However, today as I was heading to work as my usual everyday rountine , I almost had three accidents and also ended up taking the wrong exit... and it was all my fault!

I still don't know why I couldn't see those cars or why I took the road that I don't usually take and left the one that I always take?!

It's amazing what the mind does to a person..

Well anyway.. I began to think that this is a bad start to a bad day, that maybe God was trying to tell me something, and it didn't help when I got almost runover by a maniac driving fast at the parking lot...

Trying to be the positive person that I am not :) ... I looked at the good side of it ...the very fact that I am Alive!

So I don't know if this is a sign or a compelete unawarness on my behalf.... But I know that I had a good day today.!

The Fighters

2007-07-17T19:34:00.000+03:00

Today I read on a magazine cover that Women in Kuwait will not be allowed to leave the house after 8pm!? I was shocked! I then realized that its actually the law that was issued a month ago about women in Kuwait not working past 8pm....

I've heard some men as well as women stating that its a good law , they'll have enough time to spend with their kids etc...
I realised that it is because of such people, who only look at the issue from their perspective and not the nation as a whole, that we have to pay for whats coming.... Its a matter of time that the heading in the magazine will be a reality and not a typo!

What is going on in Kuwait is a road to catastrophe .. This rule is a shame to us ... While nations are building monuments, we're demolishing ones...

How can we allow others to play around with our lives while we watch.. or even worse flee!

What is happening has NOTHING to do with religion... we read about women ruling in Islam at the time of the Prophet (PBUH), we all heard stories about women fighting in wars, women writing, women helping in a much harsher time ... so how can we stand today and say that they can't even do this or that!

My issue here is not women...Everyone as I always say.. has the right to believe or live a life they think best fit them ... my issue here is enforcing their views on others... This is not democracy! ... Democracy should represent atleast the majority of the population .. but what democracy comes from Tribal, secular, benefits, money ... u name it...

There are issues that we may not like but accept due to democratic laws... but there are laws that should not be accepted and that is to do with our rights as citizens, individuals and most importantly Humans...

I hope that the people of Kuwait whom a I believe are capable in taking a stand (and i know they did) keep pushing for justice and never give up ... because we are the country (don't wait for people with so called authority..coz nothing will happpen)

Many people will look out for their benefit .. and those are the people who will accept .... and many will look out for the benefit of their country ..and those are the ones who'll fight ...The fighters !

Mr. Master

2007-07-16T20:01:00.000+03:00

I have been living in the gulf region most of my life, but I don't know why only recently have i noticed the phenomena of what the egyptian call "Si Alsayed" or "mr. master" if am correct...

Everywhere i go i see the stereotypical husband with the belly or the one whos too skinny followed by 1 or sometimes 2 wives (could be sisters, daughters) covered head to toe... I am a firm believer that everyone has the right to chose their own life style...so I am not judging here .. I am just wondering if they are really a one big happy family..do the women choose to dress and live this way or is it a norm that they grown into?

Is this an increasing phenomena? or am I just starting to notice?

I just hope that whatever the reason is (which I am 100% sure its not religious but more cultural) that they're happy... maybe after all every woman really looks for Mr. Master ...!

......

This also brings another point that been bugging me recently..."Stereo Typing" ... it is something that we do everyday but never feel its ugliness until we fall victims of it ... which was what happened to me...

I've recently been informed that I was stereotyped (if thats correct) as a person whos rich, spoilt and not hard worker being from where am from.. . which is totaly wrong! ...Atleast its not me!

Well, although i think that i proved them wrong... It still hurts to know that and it also puts more pressure on you to try to change others views .. which is not fair!

So being a victim of stereotyping... i can only go back and apologize for all the stereotyping that I've done on my behalf ... and here it goes ....My apologies to all:

Egyptians,Saudis,Americans,Qataris,Syrian,Indians, Pakistanis,Phillipinos,Persians, Beduoins, long bearded short dressed, covered head to toe, Mexicans, Africans......

Sorry for any acts that may have, intentionally or unintentionally , been influenced by the stereotype disease!..

Poetic Thoughts

2007-07-11T21:04:00.000+03:00

I had a long day at work today .. not much to do.. so as usual ..I was swimming deep into my thoughts (which turned out not that deep after all) ... I decided to turn my thoughts into poems ... Well although they sound childish ,,, I like them ,,, So i thought I'd post them anyway ...

Never Around:

Everywhere I've searched for you
I believed our love was true
(but)You were nowhere to be found
(and) I could not understand
that the truth is; you were never around..

Like a mirage amid a desert land
As i get closer your water would turn into sand
(and) I don't know why i keep running to you
As I always Knew you can never be found
(and) I could not understand the truth
that you where never around.

Life:

Fear, when I find myself on the ground,
I see the world above me, and my legs find it hard to move around
Like a new born, i feel, the need to survive, wanting to be alive,
so i take my first step, Hard, very Hard, I feel lost, I don't know what to do.

Today, I know, I can run, I can stand,
Suddenly I find myself above all, everything seems small,
and I know when I fall, I can stand up tall,
and so the fear i once felt, seems to dissapear .

Prayer to God

2007-07-06T07:53:00.000+03:00

Ya Rab;

I asked for the opportunity to start a new life and you grant me my wish.. now i know that I am at the begining of the road here but I feel that i am failing to make the best out of it.. and for this God, i would like to say a prayer:

Please God forgive me if i evr doubted in what i shouldn't..
Please God forgive me if i abused myself, if i was ever lost and lost faith in you..
if i ever let you down to please others..
if i don't turn to you when am alone and lost..
Please forgive my prayers that i did not take my time to connect with you..
Please forgive my mistakes.. and the mistakes yet to come..
Please forgive me if my actions caused or could cause any harm to others for i don't want to harm anyone but i still want to live a life of my own..
Please God give me the strenght to stand up when am falling down..
Please God show me the right path if am walking on the wrong path..
Pleas God allow me to love myself so i can love others..
Please God give me the love in life.. give me a true friend that can bring the best in me..
You blessed me with so many privilage in my life... let me appreciate them
I ask you God if i am ever lost, wrong, alone, scared, depressed, weak... to never let me fall without standing back and help me to gain faith and confidence..
God, I thought that my faith and beliefs and my life are contradicting one another.. but they don't have to .. Allow me to see, believe, and live that..
Please god give me strength when am about to give up ..

God, you gave me an opportunity to start over, I know that i deserve it, i know I can be what I want to be if i believe in my self, and most importantly in You..
I ask you God to help me make the most of this opportunity.. To not waste any precious time.. to enjoy it.. to work hard for it.. to find love in it.. to help out .. to grow up .. to accept.. to ignore.. to connect.. to appreciate.. to make up ..
I don't believe that I am a bad person... but I know that I made and continue to make bad choices.. I ask you God once again to forgive my choices and help me avoid ones that are unforgivable.. though I know that you are most mercifull..

I am sorry God for the Past .. And I am looking forward for the Future..

Thank you God for all the blessings.. and for always being there..

Sex and the city

2007-06-29T22:58:00.000+03:00

Well am stuck in this city , no friends , no one to talk to!

I am in love..

I like this city, its full of HOT people.. Hot guys Hot girls everywhere..

Yet everynite am alone .. no one to touch, feel, love..

So in this city the only sex i was getting .. was from me!

Love

2007-06-23T13:59:00.000+03:00

How can a four letter word be so powerful?!

I've never been an advocate of love and relationships... maybe since I've never had one

Sometimes i feel that love is overrated ( Hollywood kind of love that is), but other times when am alone, depressed or misunderstood, I feel that its hard to live without that special somone who you can open up to, cry, touch, laugh, and be yourself... Today is one of those days for me.

I've never been in love before with someone ( i liked so many people, but its a one sided thing). I have a hope, belief... you name it.. that someday I will meet someone special..someone i can be intimate with.. escape to .. whoever or whatever that person is ... am sure they're waiting to cross my path .

Love , truely a powerful word, for its not only active when you have someone, but also whilst you are waiting for that person..

For the time being... I'll appreciate my love to my family, friends, and life....and most importantly God.

Starting Over

2007-06-22T10:23:00.000+03:00

Change is something that is important in our life. For many, its what keeps them moving forward in this life. A new job, a new place, a new house, or a new book, no matter what there's always that good feeling when we do something new.

Recently, I've been preparing for a big change in my life. I am moving to a new city, infact an entire different country. For some this could be a very hard kind of change. However, for me its a chance to start over begin a new life. An opportunity like this does not come over often, so In order to do the best of it I am making a to do list:

1- Work Hard and do my best in my new job.
2- Start working out and eating healthy ( work on acheiving the body I want for years now).
3- continue my on the side study in design.
4-Meet new people, make new friends that I don't need to petend infront of and just be real.
5-Have fun, loosen up, don't be afraid to be a fool (not all the time).
6- get rid of this "disease to please".
7- Experiment new things. Dance, outdoor stuff,travel around.
8- Try to be closer to God.
9- Most importantly live, work, and do what I believe is what i want to do, not what others expect of me.

To name few.... Hopefully I can get to do most if not all... The feeling of a new begining is overwhelmind .. So please don't screw it up!

Challenge Yourself!

2007-06-20T14:15:00.000+03:00

I don't usually post twice a day but i thought i had to post this (besides, why not, this blog is for my thoughts so i can post 10 a day or 0 a month !)

I've just seen Oprah. Todays episode was so interesting, it was about racism, hate, bullying ... in a shool in the USA. It was actually about racism in general, but this school introduced a day called challenge yourself or something, were they had all the students confront each other, understand each other, accept each other, respect each other and in someway or another no matter what diffrences they have, there's always something you can relate to one another.

This made me think, Why can't we do this here. Start with the young ones, try to change our future into a much brighter future.
Its a thought!

This is an invitation to anyone to challenge themselves and express your TRUE feelings (not ones you've been told to feel)...any apology to someone, any confession, hurt....you can start here if you want!

Homosexuality...An Unspoken Dilema..

2007-06-20T10:50:00.000+03:00

Between everything we believe in, everything we've been told, and everything we always knew, homosexuality in todays world is one of the most controversial issues, and one we try not to discuss in our society.

I myself, have a dilema when it comes to this issue. From a religious point of view, I know that this lifestyle if chosen to live is forbidden and its one of the greatest sins. I also feel, from a different point of view ( I don't want to say human since i believe religion is very humanly centered...if that makes sense) that people have the right to love whomever they want to, since thats a feeling that is not easily controled in todays world.

So when the whole world is speaking out about this issue, for someone whos lost between two sides what should be done?!

I BELIEVE that acting on it is a sin, but deep down i FEEL that God is most mercifull and that although it might be a sin, its not as ugly as people make it to be. I wish i could find myself with one or the other to free myself.

However, whatever the answe might be, I wish to see people more tolerant and acceptable since at the end its between god and individuals. Only God can decide to punish or not. Its not a human right to do that ... and thats the one thing i can freely call for...Human rights.

First Post.....

2007-06-17T23:18:00.003+03:00

This is my first post ... Its taking me a while to think what should i write on my first post..... I thought probably a nice introduction, but yet again i realized therez not much to introduce.... ummm, now am realzing that this is not as easy as i thought it'll be!!

Today i went to the movies, Shrek the 3rd since its the only movie I'll go to here because of the censorship (or so i thought, they actually censored some kissing scenes from SHREK!! I couldn't believe how bad things are getting in here, although it made my day laughing, but it was frustrating.... I mean why not enforce age restriction instead! or even if you want to cut inappropriate scenes or words, I've seen it done many times in a very proffesional way....well anyway back to what I was saying..) I realized something disturbing, other than the disgusting food remains on the floor that i haven't seen in many cinemas around the world (am sure that there are worse), why?! If therez one thing we learned as kids in this part of the world is that food is valuable, its a blessing from God i even remember that we used to kiss food we picked from the floor...well anyway, what was more disturbing actually the number of maids or nanny ( although nanny tasks stretch out in here) with the kids and the families... Although I am not against having a maid ( but i don't much prefer it either), I am against the treatment I see... we all have jobs, bosses, and some really scare us but am sure that they'll not degrade us, and if they do we will stop them!... House work is like any other job, but here emlpoyees are not respected, most work or should be available 24/7, bossed around by kids....for some reason they're not regarded as humans!...

Being a Muslim, i know that there's no difference in people except in TAQWA (don't know exact definition but something like your relation with God) that means that people are equal!....yet in this Islamic nation with Islamic Slogans seen everywhere (don't get me started with slogans ....someday I will) I fail to notice true islamic practices....

I came back home and I kept on thinking negative things I've seen on the way back (uhh...soooo many)...This actually made me think what can I do not to help out, not to create awareness, not to complain, not to be Ideal but to get rid of my frustrations, to speak my mind, to SHOUT! without being loud..... This is how i thought of the BLOG!!

I decided to do this blog to help me and others hopefully speak their mind because I believe that we can change whats around us if we can change ourselves...and we will not change if we live in a place where everything is censored... even our thoughts!

So now I thought of my introduction, "Hi, I am Arab Guy from the Arabian Gulf, and I am hear to Speak my Mind".